The Seventeenth Line

I’ve been in a lull the past few years, living my life in a holding pattern following some significant life events. I haven’t had the energy to devote to personal or professional goals. Instead, I’ve just held steady and kept things in my life as simple as possible.

I’ve been calling this my fallow period.

If you are not familiar, fallow is a term associated with farming. It refers to the act of leaving land unplanted in order to restore the soil. During this dormant time the soil has time to replenish nutrients and store moisture, which prepares the land for a future growing season.

Over the past couple of years I’ve pulled back from socializing with most friends, choosing to spend time with only a few key people. I gave up all volunteer activities and didn’t participate in community events. I’ve stayed in the same job and didn’t explore, or even consider, any new professional opportunities.

This wasn’t easy for me. It was hard to let go, step back, disconnect.

Going to work and spending time at home with family and a few close friends has pretty much been the extent of my life.

I’m not saying this is a bad thing. It’s actually been nice to retreat from the world and I’ve enjoyed feeling cozy at home. I filled my time by reading, walking my neighborhood, organizing my house, cooking, and sleeping. Quiet, simple, homey activities.

I’ve loved spending evenings in the backyard with my husband with nothing more to do than enjoy our garden. We spent countless hours looking at flowers, just taking in the rose bushes. I cooked up big pots of soup and filled my freezer with servings of corn chowder and beef stew. On rainy weekends I curled up on the couch with my cat and enjoyed a glass of Cabernet with no worries about having to be somewhere.

But it wasn’t always wine and roses.

This has been a pretty difficult period in my life. I’ve felt numb, overwhelmed, and fearful. I’ve wrestled with shock, loss, anger, sadness, grief – all the things – for well over a year. I’ve had to learn how to not distract myself with to-do’s and business, and instead practice being still and silent in order to truly experience my emotions.

I had to empty out my life and give myself space, a place to be fallow.

Now, I believe my fallow period is coming to an end.

I’m feeling healthier, happier, relaxed. I’m feeling a yearning to be back in the world again.

This period is also a reset for me. I’m different now and I want my life to be different. I’m being deliberate about what it is that I want for my life going forward. This is my time to create a vision for my future and set a path forward.

To do this I’m going all in on my journaling practice.

I bought myself a new journal, and for the first time I’ve indulged in ton of patterned washi tape, colorful pens and markers, and a handful of stencils to use for decorative lettering and design.

Journaling will be my creative outlet for the next few months. During the dark days of winter here in the pacific northwest I plan to spend my evening sketching, making to-do lists, pondering goals, and jotting down ideas for what I want next in life. I’m going to use creativity, play, joy, and beauty to help me craft my next steps.

I’ve practiced bullet journaling for a few years now, though I’ve not been as consistent in recent years. I’m planning to use this journaling approach to both reflect and to imagine next.

What’s next for you in 2025?